The Loneliest Place I Know

I am so lonely inside of my head,
It is the loneliest place I know.
I read from the tomes of humanity
And find in my loneliness I am not alone,
In this life I live inside of my head.
I am the only one who really knows
Each step that it took to lead me here.
To this moment that can never be found again,
Standing in the driving blinding snow,
The cold breath of life ice sharp in my veins.
The only company I have ever kept is my own soul.
This well inside that has survived the tides,
Survived despite how many times I've drowned in it.
I have fed my soul as best I can,
Though no one told me what food I should feed it.
I had to decide for myself what shall nourish me,
The food I have fed my soul kept me strong.
Even when my body was empty my soul was fed,
By eyes which read the words and saw the scenes,
By ears that heard the notes plink plink through space,
By a mind that hungrily consumed every sight,
And sound and smell and taste and felt the world,
In hands that were cold and shook.
And I have been among friends who love me.
I have shared in joy and in sadness and I have wasted time,
And I pray that not all of my best days are past.
I pray that I may become who I am inside,
In such a way that all who knew me will see
They never really knew me at all.
And those with souls like mine will find me,
I pray this soul that I have kept alive
Will not just continue to be fed, but will thrive.
Maybe this loneliness I have known was not my condition,
But a preparation for the life it was meant to pursue.
If there is such a thing as destiny, I have never known it,
I have seen my choices screaming back at me from consequence.
Only I can write the story of my life, only I.
And I will write a beautiful story.